I’ve been reading a new book by someone I really look up to on social media. Her name is Tiffany Toombs. She’s a life, health, and business coach and her book is called Stop Being A Selfish Bitch. (Available on Amazon, highly recommend!) She came up with the concept after thinking about how so many people don’t contribute the most of their talents, knowledge, and passions to the world because they are afraid of being judged, rejected, and ultimately failing.
Fear is the biggest obstacle we will ever face. We get in our own way instead of growing, fourishing, and succeeding in authenticity. Giving into this fear is selfish because all the people we could be helping, educating, and inspiring are remaining untouched by our uniqueness. Sure, there are others out there with similar experiences, and some of them might be putting themselves out there and reaching out to others, but no one else can play your part.
I love BDSM blogs! I love BDSM accounts on Instagram! I love reading and seeing BDSM content because each creator is so unique. They have different dynamics, different roles, and different sets of kinks. Some of them post beautiful photos. Some of them post relatable memes. Some of them post amazingly written accounts of their scenes or intense profound moments in their relationships. All of them are different people with different pasts and different personalities. There are a few I especially relate to and admire because their roles and experiences closely match my own, or they match the experience I’d like to have.
I often think “I have only been in the lifestyle for less than a year. Who is going to care what I have to say about it? I’m not qualified to teach other people how to find happiness and fulfillment in BDSM.” But the truth is no matter how many years of experience someone has in the lifestyle, how many classes they’ve attended, how many play partners they’ve scened with, or what their role is they have something to contribute. A fresh perspective is often undervalued by those who believe themselves to be veterans or experts in any area, but sometimes that is where the realest truths and best ideas come from.
When you stand for something and you speak out about it, if you look in the right places you’ll find support. The louder you speak your truth, the more passionately people will come behind you and spread the message. Something you share might inspire someone. It might inspire a lot of people. It might save someone’s life or change someone’s whole perspective. If you don’t take the risk of facing rejection and failure, you’ll never know.
So we should all stop being selfish bitches and have the love and compassion for ourselves and the people around us to take action and use our talents, our widsom, and even our pain and tragedies to make the world a better place. It doesn’t matter if it has anything to do with BDSM, but we all have that one thing that lights us up, the thing that we love to do, love to create, love to talk about and share to those who want to hear. So shine that light and make your voice heard.
Love and light.